Friday, June 18, 2021
Fatherhood; Often Underappreciated
Who originally penned the words is not clear, but this oft-quoted truth is clear and thought-provoking: “Dads are like a steady but less sentimentalized institution — the sun in our familial sky that warms and gives life but isn’t much thought about unless he goes missing.” As a son, a father, and a long-time pastor, that statement resonates with me. Fatherhood is often unappreciated.
When I consider my own father, I would have to agree with two other public figures who captured the beauty of fatherhood in just a few words:
“My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me.” ―Jim Valvano, college basketball coach and broadcaster.
“My father didn’t tell me how to live. He lived and let me watch him do it.” ―Clarence Budington Kelland, American author of sixty novels.
It is impossible to measure, or put a value on, the steady, loving father. They give stability and protection to millions, while flashier, noisier men grab all the attention. Many of us could not share a quote or point to a magnanimous feat of our father, but we can remember the safety and sanity his covering provided. Unfortunately, we often don’t express or show appreciation for that sunshine, until our father is old or gone.
Sometimes fathers are under-appreciated just as God is underappreciated, because it falls their lot to provide us with discipline. Here is how Scripture put it:
In this all-out match against sin, others have suffered far worse than you, to say nothing of what Jesus went through—all that bloodshed! So don’t feel sorry for yourselves. Or have you forgotten how good parents treat children, and that God regards you as his children?
My dear child, don’t shrug off God’s discipline, but don’t be crushed by it either. It’s the child he loves that he disciplines; the child he embraces, he also corrects. God is educating you; that’s why you must never drop out. He’s treating you as dear children. This trouble you’re in isn’t punishment; it’s training, the normal experience of children. Only irresponsible parents leave children to fend for themselves. Would you prefer an irresponsible God? We respect our own parents for training and not spoiling us, so why not embrace God’s training so we can truly live? While we were children, our parents did what seemed best to them. But God is doing what is best for us, training us to live God’s holy best. At the time, discipline isn’t much fun. It always feels like it’s going against the grain. Later, of course, it pays off big-time, for it’s the well-trained who find themselves mature in their relationship with God. (Hebrews 12:4-11 MSG)
What if we celebrated the everyday, ordinary fathers who believe in their children and live honest, steady lives? What if we rose above the rhetoric of the few who have had bad experiences with fathers, and verbalized how much we love those fathers who did their best? What if we honored our fathers, knowing that they are human and imperfect? Wouldn’t that be much like stopping to appreciate that old, faithful orb in the sky that makes the world tick?
If you are a father who is feeling unappreciated, I hope you can see past the verbiage of our declining moral climate and realize your enormous value. I would agree with Mike Myers, Canadian-American actor, comedian, director, producer and screenwriter, who said, “Anyone who tells you fatherhood is the greatest thing that can happen to you, they are understating it.”
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